15 things I should give up on
Wednesday, May 7
Because parenthood and being a momma has been very CHALLENGING for me lately...
Stumbling onto this post by CAROL TUTTLE , has taught me a lot about ways and means to overcome this emotions that I am having. about why being a mom to Adi has been hard and that sometimes, i feel like I don't do things the right way.
Here is her list:
Stumbling onto this post by CAROL TUTTLE , has taught me a lot about ways and means to overcome this emotions that I am having. about why being a mom to Adi has been hard and that sometimes, i feel like I don't do things the right way.
Here is her list:
Consider which of these 15 items keeps you from happy parenting. Let them go. Allow yourself to be a happy parent for your child—and yourself!
1. Give up “supposed to”
We were conditioned by our own early family experiences to believe that parenthood or childhood are supposed to look a certain way. But if you hold onto the way things are “supposed” to be, you may miss enjoying how they actually are. Be willing to question what you prioritize as a parent and why.
2. Give up on keeping score
What does your mental score-card keep track of… Which parent does more? Who’s most consistent? Which mom contributes most in your child’s class? Who’s most involved in your homeschool group?
Keeping score wastes energy. Just do what you feel inspired and able to do. Don’t feel obligated by others’ contributions. Don’t obligate them to live up to yours.
3. Give up force
As a parent you have a responsibility to set boundaries. But if a child consistently resists a certain boundary, don’t just force them to comply. Ask yourself and your child, “Why?”
Think of yourself as your child’s trusted and effective guide, not their dictator. When they experience you this way, they’re more likely to listen, which means less struggle and frustration for both of you.
4. Give up yelling
If you’re not a yeller, this one isn’t for you. But if you tend to yell when upset, consider this question: Has yelling strengthened your relationship with your child?
Yelling usually happens in anger and it often frightens and intimidates children. It destroys trust and a child’s feeling of safety. Pay attention to times and circumstances when you yell and then commit to changing those scenarios in the future.
5. Give up your need to look perfect
No such thing as a perfect parent. Embrace your imperfections. Laugh at yourself. The best parents are willing to always learn, change and improve.
6. Give up worry
Compulsive worrying doesn’t make your child any safer. It doesn’t make you any happier. And it teaches your children to live in fear. Release your worries and cultivate gratitude for your child’s safety in the present moment.
7. Give up one-size-fits-all rules
Every child is unique. What works for one won’t always work for another. Certain standard rules apply across the board (for example, everyone needs to speak respectfully). But consider the possibility that being a fair parent doesn’t mean doing the exact same thing in the exact same way for every child.
8. Give up the food fight
If you demand a certain number of bites from your children, you set yourself up for struggle at the table—and you set your children up for struggles with food later in life.
Guide, direct, encourage, and prepare healthy food. Let your child voice their preferences. Focus on healthy overall patterns, rather than forcing a certain regimen at a specific meal.
9. Give up your role as events coordinator
If you feel like parenthood is a treadmill you can’t keep up with, you may be taking too much responsibility for your children’s time. Make plans that are supportive to your children’s development, but don’t map out every minute for them.
Downtime is supportive to many children. Moments of boredom allow children to take responsibility for their own time. Make resources available and then let your children create the experience they want. You’ll all be happier.
10. Give up unhealthy self-sacrifice
As a parent, you generously give love, time, and attention. But you shouldn’t give up your core self just because you’re a parent. When you ignore your basic needs, you teach your children that when they grow up, they shouldn’t take care of themselves.
11. Give up guilt
Parents sometimes fall into the self-sacrifice trap because they feel unnecessary guilt. Guilt can be useful if you use it to recognize where you need to make changes. But overwhelming, paralyzing guilt that makes you feel worthless as a person or parent doesn’t accomplish anything. You are enough, just as you are.
12. Give up one-sided decisions
As the parent, you often have the final say. But you and your child will both be happier if it’s not the only say. When age-appropriate, involve your child in decisions that will affect them. By showing children the decision-making process, you’ll empower them to make their own good decisions in the future.
13. Give up negative messages
So many messages are repeated to children: you’re too loud, you’re too quiet, you ask too many questions, you’re exhausting, you’re demanding, you’re too talkative, you should make more friends, quit moving, speak up, settle down, smile more.
You can comment on the exact same behavior in a positive way. For example, you can see the trait of, “You’re too talkative,” as “You really make friends easily.”
14. Give up your own childhood story
What did you experience that you most want your children to avoid? Being teased at school? Lack of money? Feeling not-enough? Your fears may actually set up that same pattern to be re-created. Don’t trap your children now in your fears of the past. Let them go. Create what you want, not what you don’t want.
15. Give up on giving up
I’ve heard from parents who worry that they’ve damaged their child, or that they’ve made a mistake that will last a lifetime. I’ve said this many times:
It’s never too late to be a better parent.
Whether your children are 4 or 40, they respond to genuine love from their parents. The effects of mistakes may take a little longer to overcome if your child is older, but it’s never impossible to show up as the happy, supportive parent that you are meant to be. Don’t give up! You have everything you need to be a good parent.
Ok, deep breath.
It’s time to let go of whatever keeps you stuck and let the happiness in!
The Child Whisperer empowers parents and children so the whole family is happier and experiences more cooperation. If you haven’t yet read the book yet, get your copy here.
#worldstoughestjob
Monday, May 5
Advance Happy Mother's Day to you, tough Momma!
You are the sunlight in my day,
You are the moon I see far away.
You are the tree I lean upon,
You are the one that makes troubles be gone.
You are the one who taught me life,
How not to fight, and what is right.
You are the words inside my song,
You are my love, my life, my mom.
You are the one who cares for me,
You are the eyes that help me see.
You are the one who knows me best,
When it's time to have fun and time to rest.
You are the one who has helped me to dream,
You hear my heart and you hear my screams.
Afraid of life but looking for love,
I'm blessed for God sent you from above.
You are my friend, my heart, and my soul
You are the greatest friend I know.
You are the words inside my song,
You are my love, my life, my Mom.
-© Champagne S. Baker
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| Cook and clean Wash and fold Keep me warm when I am cold |
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| Walk me here Take me there Mum, you sure are everywhere |
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| you may have tangible wealth untold caskets of jewels and coffers of gold richer than i you can never be i had a mother - who read to me |
Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/a-poem-for-mom#ixzz30pMV8nfG
Family Friend Poems
Dear Me: Letter to the 16 year old Me
Sunday, May 4
If you had the opportunity to write to your 16-year-old self, what would you say?
Dear 16 year old Gracina,
I know what you are thinking right at this very moment.
Hmm... I don't even know what to say to you anymore
since you're thinking that you know everything already.
Yes, you are at the Senior year of your highschool life.. yet you are still so
full of dreams and aspirations for the future yet to come.
Well hey! Don't you worry for I have seen the future!
I am here. Smiling as I look over you.
High school life is never easy.
But holds a vital part of your life as you grow and become what you
ought to be...
Thinking about college and the trailing battles ahead is overwhelming.
Don't think too hard!
Think happy thoughts.
Your journal says it all. ^-^
How much you like to take unto having relationships.
Don't rush.
But think about the joy of having to wait for Mr. Right.
What you think about life is not the way it will turn out.
Your heart is vulnerable and not everyone will like you.
Always remember that everyone is gonna hurt you.
You just have to know who is worth all the pain.
Follow your heart and let it guide you.
Trust in the Lord, He will provide and lift you up.
Being a good daughter comes with all sacrifices.
Be the best and never ever give up.
Be the strong person that you should be,
cause everyone is going to depend and look up to you.
Be the greatest big sister that your siblings are going to have.
Although, when you fall be sure to always Learn and Discern.
Love yourself.
As much as i love you.
P.S - just wait till you see your adorable cute lil son's dimples!
Always and forever,
28 year old (chubby face) self - Gracina
What you think about life is not the way it will turn out.
Your heart is vulnerable and not everyone will like you.
Always remember that everyone is gonna hurt you.
You just have to know who is worth all the pain.
Follow your heart and let it guide you.
Trust in the Lord, He will provide and lift you up.
Being a good daughter comes with all sacrifices.
Be the best and never ever give up.
Be the strong person that you should be,
cause everyone is going to depend and look up to you.
Be the greatest big sister that your siblings are going to have.
Although, when you fall be sure to always Learn and Discern.
Love yourself.
As much as i love you.
P.S - just wait till you see your adorable cute lil son's dimples!
Always and forever,
28 year old (chubby face) self - Gracina
Becoming Active
Wednesday, April 30
It is here... the time has come for me and my son to once again explore this crazy world of ours!
Being a working momma for me is very EXCITING and CHALLENGING at the same time.
Exciting in a way that I get to catch every single moment of Baby Adi's growin up moments.
Well, here is me wishing on a STAR.
I know for sure that I will never ever have that moment,
( not until I quit my 9.6 hours day job)
Well Baby, momma's not gonna give up yet!
So to more challenges with you, cheers!
More moments to capture and more determination to store....
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| getting giddy up every morning strollin with his pretty equally adorable cousin Therese =) |
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| ans just when you thought that you can keep up.. |
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| Climbing on the table when I was watching a TV program. Ang Kulit!!! |
Son, there will always be memories like this in my heart.
In my mind and in my tired bod... It's quite tiring to try to keep you behaved and tamed.
But that is just what you are - a pretty little hyper active baby boy indeed!
Thanks for showing me the strength and perseverance i never knew i had in me.
Love lots,
Mami
#HolyWeek2014
Wednesday, April 23
Hi Mommsies!!!
How was your holy week!
As for our family, we spent the rest of the week in our house in Mandaue City here in Cebu.
I spent time with my son, had chit chats with my mom, sister and aunt Cora.
I guess that should be the most treasured moment of my work life since I get to spend the long weekend with them.
Have you noticed that most of the people are dying to go out and soak on the water? I have read a lot of vacay posts lately be it on instagram, fellow bloggers and some of my "wealthy" facebook friends.
Well, good for them -- they get to spend it splunging on the water. I can't question that action since as you may know, it is SUMMER indeed now in the Philippine Islands.
What can I say? Right?
It is Super Duper HOT!!
The sun is up all the while and I, my partner A and Adi stayed just at our little nest.
Here's what I posted via IG:
I was still thankful that even if I wasn't able to attend mass and confession, I was able to reflect.
Here's what the Lord is telling me as I read His Words from the Bible: (the Book of Ecclesiastes)
Thanks for reading!
And God Bless us always!
Hope you too had a way better Holy Week =)
Follow me on instagram: @iamracinz
Find other holy week posts using #HolyWeek2014
How was your holy week!
As for our family, we spent the rest of the week in our house in Mandaue City here in Cebu.
I spent time with my son, had chit chats with my mom, sister and aunt Cora.
I guess that should be the most treasured moment of my work life since I get to spend the long weekend with them.
Have you noticed that most of the people are dying to go out and soak on the water? I have read a lot of vacay posts lately be it on instagram, fellow bloggers and some of my "wealthy" facebook friends.
Well, good for them -- they get to spend it splunging on the water. I can't question that action since as you may know, it is SUMMER indeed now in the Philippine Islands.
What can I say? Right?
It is Super Duper HOT!!
The sun is up all the while and I, my partner A and Adi stayed just at our little nest.
Here's what I posted via IG:
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| Adi with Aunt Cora and Uncle Andres having lunch.. =) |
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| with My Adi #adiislove =) at home |
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| surprised to see my elementary classmate Clint Lumapas via @itspatmartinez IG feed. they're in camotes cebu spending the Holy week |
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| Foodie. Biko and Inon-unan =) photo from my IG @iamracinz |
I was still thankful that even if I wasn't able to attend mass and confession, I was able to reflect.
Here's what the Lord is telling me as I read His Words from the Bible: (the Book of Ecclesiastes)
2:17 So I hated life, because the work that is worked under the sun was grievous to me; for all is vanity and a chasing after wind. 2:18 I hated all my labor in which I labored under the sun, because I must leave it to the man who comes after me. 2:19 Who knows whether he will be a wise man or a fool? Yet he will have rule over all of my labor in which I have labored, and in which I have shown myself wise under the sun. This also is vanity.
2:20 Therefore I began to cause my heart to despair concerning all the labor in which I had labored under the sun. 2:21 For there is a man whose labor is with wisdom, with knowledge, and with skillfulness; yet he shall leave it for his portion to a man who has not labored for it. This also is vanity and a great evil. 2:22 For what has a man of all his labor, and of the striving of his heart, in which he labors under the sun? 2:23 For all his days are sorrows, and his travail is grief; yes, even in the night his heart takes no rest. This also is vanity. 2:24 There is nothing better for a man than that he should eat and drink, and make his soul enjoy good in his labor. This also I saw, that it is from the hand of God. 2:25 For who can eat, or who can have enjoyment, more than I? 2:26 For to the man who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge, and joy; but to the sinner he gives travail, to gather and to heap up, that he may give to him who pleases God. This also is vanity and a chasing after wind.
5:1 Guard your steps when you go to God’s house; for to draw near to listen is better than to give the sacrifice of fools, for they don’t know that they do evil. 5:2 Don’t be rash with your mouth, and don’t let your heart be hasty to utter anything before God; for God is in heaven, and you on earth. Therefore let your words be few. 5:3 For as a dream comes with a multitude of cares, so a fool’s speech with a multitude of words. 5:4 When you vow a vow to God, don’t defer to pay it; for he has no pleasure in fools. Pay that which you vow. 5:5 It is better that you should not vow, than that you should vow and not pay. 5:6 Don’t allow your mouth to lead you into sin. Don’t protest before the messenger that this was a mistake. Why should God be angry at your voice, and destroy the work of your hands? 5:7 For in the multitude of dreams there are vanities, as well as in many words: but you must fear God.
5:8 If you see the oppression of the poor, and the violent taking away of justice and righteousness in a district, don’t marvel at the matter: for one official is eyed by a higher one; and there are officials over them. 5:9 Moreover the profit of the earth is for all. The king profits from the field.5:10 He who loves silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he who loves abundance, with increase: this also is vanity. 5:11 When goods increase, those who eat them are increased; and what advantage is there to its owner, except to feast on them with his eyes?
5:12 The sleep of a laboring man is sweet, whether he eats little or much; but the abundance of the rich will not allow him to sleep.
Thanks for reading!
And God Bless us always!
Hope you too had a way better Holy Week =)
Follow me on instagram: @iamracinz
Find other holy week posts using #HolyWeek2014
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